Taking a break from meditations and the group

Dude if you really feel like calling her than do it , whatever. Get this over with.

On Sun, Mar 10, 2013 at 9:27 PM, Aquarian Clown <[ email redacted ] wrote:
  ehhh yea i had that meditation problem too. life just fucking interferes with it, like schools and such and i cant ignore those schools and works or other tasks and such and plus a meditation becomes rly stressful. to be honest yea i take breaks, and it actually makes me feel better but when i do take breaks i feel like jumping back at my meditations right away but this shitty corrupted life calls.

try improving your solar plexus chakra it will drasticly increase your determination , i opened the solar chakra the first only for this reason: to not to get lazy or to be determined to do things. but i got determined to do a lot of other things too other than meditations :)) so beware of it, probably affirm it or something.

and sometimes ( from my experience, i might have assumed it wrong ) it feels like when u over charge yourself and over power your soul it has problems with taking in all the energies and changes and causes stress. i noticed that when i take a break after doing chakra opening 2 months straight i start feeling better/calm and less stressed out than the time i was doing it. just a guess there might be other explanation.

but hey your meditation program is short, really :)). do your voids without any time just anywhere, when u have the time just stare at an object like an idiot and concentrate XD ( you will feel less chained in time and more free )

id suggest you to do chakra openings, vibrations are kinda fun and easy.

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@... wrote:

Hey you guys. I wanted to say you're all awesome and I enjoy here very much but lately my life went really hard. My fucking depression won't leave me alone. My mind is wandering all the time on this girl i've met. Something good happens to me, my fucking mind can't stop daydreaming about it. I'm so fucked up with all these obsessive thoughts I can't take it anymore. Meditations get me into so much stress. If I don't read every comment on the group I don't feel well. I have to read it all. FUCK. I'm so angry so much time i'm trying to heal myself but it's too hard. I will not commit suicide. Never. But trust me when I say life is so hard right now. I have to take this break guys. I think even Satan looks at me and guides me to take this break. It sounds silly I know.

I wanted to say you're all awesome, and don't you judge me, you have no idea what I'm going through, what my damned fucking soul going through.

I will be back
Click to expand...
Click to expand...
 
OK You Win.

Alcohol is not a Depressant.

Guess all the Medical Studies are wrong.

Hail Satan

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@... wrote:

Yes I did drink at the party. Big mistake. But depression doesn't have to do with it as I suffer from it from when I remember myself.
I stop taking St. John's Wort I take it for 4 weeks now, and it's not helping.
And yes she is so not worth my time but how can I neglect her beauty?

--- In , "keeperofstone" <brucekuersteiner@ wrote:

Did you Drink at this party? If you did then it can bring on depression and lack of clarity of thought; it's called a hangover. I also, know you decided to use St. John's Wort a natural SSRI and that is not without side effects. Hot Junkies are just that Hot Junkies, not worth your energy. Reconsider.

Hail Satan

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@ wrote:

I didn't really decide. I only wrote it to get some motivational posts. It's so hard you have no clue Shannon.
Yes I thought I would do the working too untill I got to that stupid party that ruined everything. I'm about to crash here.
That fucking girl I can't stop thinking of her, but I know myself I will have to call her because it's me.

--- In , Shannon Outlaw <soutlaw92@ wrote:


Hailazazel, I am very suprised at your decision. If you stop now do you really think life will get better? The depression will get worse because of stopping your meditations. Also the planets namely mars and Saturn will get to you and ruin you especially if you get a hard transit. Meditation and aura of protection protects you from fate. If you stop now you willbe just aother statistic. But its your choice. Good luck. Also you should have an idea of what father Satan would say to you. Dissapointment completely. You have chace to grow powerful and achieve godhead many gentiles will ot find the truth. Consider yourself blessed and lucky. We all are. I thought you were going to do a working to get rid of the depression?.



------------------------------
On Sun, Mar 10, 2013 1:00 PM EDT keeperofstone wrote:

If that's your choice -So be it. Satanism is about free choice and responsability. Many of us here have given you good advice and without malice and yes life is a continuous test and adventure, make the best decisions for yourself and by yourself - you are responsible.

Hail Satan

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@ wrote:

If that's the case, I don't have even one friend. But i'm friendly person by nature, so seeing them is a must for me. From time to time

--- In , "radzio_ss" <truth.seeker1@ wrote:

Do what you think is right, but you should cut loose ties with people that have destructive influence on you. Such people are not your friends- just occasional pals that will leave you stranded once they get tired of you or something will start going wrong. Are they even ready to accept you as a Satanist? I doubt that. If someone is not willing to accept you for who you are, then such person is not your friend. Simple. Elevating yourself to the Godhood is more important then such leeches.

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@ wrote:

Dude is this some kind of test? It's like nature examines me to see if i'm strong. The girl i've met, turns out she's a junkie. All my friends have called me lately going out to drink. My work got so much hard I don't know wtf is going. It all started at the party. Why the hell I went to that party.

I want to continue meditating. I want to keep meditating I want to elevate my soul. How do I get on track? It seems impossible from here trust me. Should I just delete the number of the girl i've met? Just don't go out with my friends anymore? How do I get it all back. Oh my god I'm so fucked up. Will Satan give me a push on this?

--- In , "Zevios Metathronos" <Zevios Metathronos@ wrote:

In other words, its only a phase that you will transform if you keep going. Most of the time, when you're about to hit a checkpoint, things will really hit the fan like this. Don't stop.

HAIL SATAN!!!!!!

--- In , Forums Contributor < wrote:

Quit the meddditations now and your life will get harder.



________________________________
From: hailazazel <hailazazel@
To:
Sent: Sunday, March 10, 2013 6:38:20 AM
Subject: Taking a break from meditations and the group


 

Hey you guys. I wanted to say you're all awesome and I enjoy here very much but lately my life went really hard. My fucking depression won't leave me alone. My mind is wandering all the time on this girl i've met. Something good happens to me, my fucking mind can't stop daydreaming about it. I'm so fucked up with all these obsessive thoughts I can't take it anymore. Meditations get me into so much stress. If I don't read every comment on the group I don't feel well. I have to read it all. FUCK. I'm so angry so much time i'm trying to heal myself but it's too hard. I will not commit suicide. Never. But trust me when I say life is so hard right now. I have to take this break guys. I think even Satan looks at me and guides me to take this break. It sounds silly I know.

I wanted to say you're all awesome, and don't you judge me, you have no idea what I'm going through, what my damned fucking soul going through.

I will be back
Click to expand...
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Don't do it! I did exactly what you did thinking I needed a break but guess what? My energies went down and life went to shit even more. This is the best time to keep meditating to counter your depression and do void meditation if thoughts are getting in your way.
From: hailazazel <hailazazel@...
To:
Sent: Sunday, March 10, 2013 5:38 AM
Subject: Taking a break from meditations and the group

  Hey you guys. I wanted to say you're all awesome and I enjoy here very much but lately my life went really hard. My fucking depression won't leave me alone. My mind is wandering all the time on this girl i've met. Something good happens to me, my fucking mind can't stop daydreaming about it. I'm so fucked up with all these obsessive thoughts I can't take it anymore. Meditations get me into so much stress. If I don't read every comment on the group I don't feel well. I have to read it all. FUCK. I'm so angry so much time i'm trying to heal myself but it's too hard. I will not commit suicide. Never. But trust me when I say life is so hard right now. I have to take this break guys. I think even Satan looks at me and guides me to take this break. It sounds silly I know.

I wanted to say you're all awesome, and don't you judge me, you have no idea what I'm going through, what my damned fucking soul going through.

I will be back



 
umm, I think you've misunderstood me.
I've said I suffer from depression for along, long time now. And the alcohol wasn't the cause. The cause for this hinder was that girl which I wrote last post. She didn't do anythin bad, it's just i'm obsessed with things like that and I think all the time about it.

--- In , "keeperofstone" <brucekuersteiner@... wrote:

OK You Win.

Alcohol is not a Depressant.

Guess all the Medical Studies are wrong.

Hail Satan

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@ wrote:

Yes I did drink at the party. Big mistake. But depression doesn't have to do with it as I suffer from it from when I remember myself.
I stop taking St. John's Wort I take it for 4 weeks now, and it's not helping.
And yes she is so not worth my time but how can I neglect her beauty?

--- In , "keeperofstone" <brucekuersteiner@ wrote:

Did you Drink at this party? If you did then it can bring on depression and lack of clarity of thought; it's called a hangover. I also, know you decided to use St. John's Wort a natural SSRI and that is not without side effects. Hot Junkies are just that Hot Junkies, not worth your energy. Reconsider.

Hail Satan

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@ wrote:

I didn't really decide. I only wrote it to get some motivational posts. It's so hard you have no clue Shannon.
Yes I thought I would do the working too untill I got to that stupid party that ruined everything. I'm about to crash here.
That fucking girl I can't stop thinking of her, but I know myself I will have to call her because it's me.

--- In , Shannon Outlaw <soutlaw92@ wrote:


Hailazazel, I am very suprised at your decision. If you stop now do you really think life will get better? The depression will get worse because of stopping your meditations. Also the planets namely mars and Saturn will get to you and ruin you especially if you get a hard transit. Meditation and aura of protection protects you from fate. If you stop now you willbe just aother statistic. But its your choice. Good luck. Also you should have an idea of what father Satan would say to you. Dissapointment completely. You have chace to grow powerful and achieve godhead many gentiles will ot find the truth. Consider yourself blessed and lucky. We all are. I thought you were going to do a working to get rid of the depression?.



------------------------------
On Sun, Mar 10, 2013 1:00 PM EDT keeperofstone wrote:

If that's your choice -So be it. Satanism is about free choice and responsability. Many of us here have given you good advice and without malice and yes life is a continuous test and adventure, make the best decisions for yourself and by yourself - you are responsible.

Hail Satan

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@ wrote:

If that's the case, I don't have even one friend. But i'm friendly person by nature, so seeing them is a must for me. From time to time

--- In , "radzio_ss" <truth.seeker1@ wrote:

Do what you think is right, but you should cut loose ties with people that have destructive influence on you. Such people are not your friends- just occasional pals that will leave you stranded once they get tired of you or something will start going wrong. Are they even ready to accept you as a Satanist? I doubt that. If someone is not willing to accept you for who you are, then such person is not your friend. Simple. Elevating yourself to the Godhood is more important then such leeches.

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@ wrote:

Dude is this some kind of test? It's like nature examines me to see if i'm strong. The girl i've met, turns out she's a junkie. All my friends have called me lately going out to drink. My work got so much hard I don't know wtf is going. It all started at the party. Why the hell I went to that party.

I want to continue meditating. I want to keep meditating I want to elevate my soul. How do I get on track? It seems impossible from here trust me. Should I just delete the number of the girl i've met? Just don't go out with my friends anymore? How do I get it all back. Oh my god I'm so fucked up. Will Satan give me a push on this?

--- In , "Zevios Metathronos" <Zevios Metathronos@ wrote:

In other words, its only a phase that you will transform if you keep going. Most of the time, when you're about to hit a checkpoint, things will really hit the fan like this. Don't stop.

HAIL SATAN!!!!!!

--- In , Forums Contributor < wrote:

Quit the meddditations now and your life will get harder.



________________________________
From: hailazazel <hailazazel@
To:
Sent: Sunday, March 10, 2013 6:38:20 AM
Subject: Taking a break from meditations and the group


 

Hey you guys. I wanted to say you're all awesome and I enjoy here very much but lately my life went really hard. My fucking depression won't leave me alone. My mind is wandering all the time on this girl i've met. Something good happens to me, my fucking mind can't stop daydreaming about it. I'm so fucked up with all these obsessive thoughts I can't take it anymore. Meditations get me into so much stress. If I don't read every comment on the group I don't feel well. I have to read it all. FUCK. I'm so angry so much time i'm trying to heal myself but it's too hard. I will not commit suicide. Never. But trust me when I say life is so hard right now. I have to take this break guys. I think even Satan looks at me and guides me to take this break. It sounds silly I know.

I wanted to say you're all awesome, and don't you judge me, you have no idea what I'm going through, what my damned fucking soul going through.

I will be back
Click to expand...
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Thanks xavier! I know I did my Yoga routine earlier and i feel better now. Thanks

--- In , Xavier Skaggs <xavi3rskaggs@... wrote:

Don't do it! I did exactly what you did thinking I needed a break but guess what? My energies went down and life went to shit even more. This is the best time to keep meditating to counter your depression and do void meditation if thoughts are getting in your way.


________________________________
From: hailazazel <hailazazel@...
To:
Sent: Sunday, March 10, 2013 5:38 AM
Subject: Taking a break from meditations and the group


 
Hey you guys. I wanted to say you're all awesome and I enjoy here very much but lately my life went really hard. My fucking depression won't leave me alone. My mind is wandering all the time on this girl i've met. Something good happens to me, my fucking mind can't stop daydreaming about it. I'm so fucked up with all these obsessive thoughts I can't take it anymore. Meditations get me into so much stress. If I don't read every comment on the group I don't feel well. I have to read it all. FUCK. I'm so angry so much time i'm trying to heal myself but it's too hard. I will not commit suicide. Never. But trust me when I say life is so hard right now. I have to take this break guys. I think even Satan looks at me and guides me to take this break. It sounds silly I know.

I wanted to say you're all awesome, and don't you judge me, you have no idea what I'm going through, what my damned fucking soul going through.

I will be back
Click to expand...
 
You always have good messages and advice Don!
I did too, took a break from my meditations, not because I wanted to but because a friend is staying at my place for a while and is using the room where I used to meditate, fuck!  And that was the only room left at the house where I could not be disturbed.
So far, I'm working in setting up another place or a corner in my bedroom to do my meditations and rituals.  I have halted the five month program too and will start over shortly, the reason for this is that I felt that I wasn't doing it properly.  I did not knew about astral projection and a member told me to get the book of  "Astral Dynamics by Robert Bruce" and I found a revised version of it "Mastering Astral Projection by Robert Bruce and Brian Mercer" which is a 90 day program for OBE experience which would help me master to get into a deep trance.
Basically, I halted my meditations to do a better research and acquire better knowledge on how to do it right and not waste time just sitting there and going nowhere.I used the time to re-group myself instead of complaining about the meditations.
To Hailazazel:
    I suggest you to acquire the book "Mastering Astral Projection by Robert Bruce and Brian Mercer" it's a new and revised version of "Astral Dynamics" and much better, it's a 90 day program, it will help you get rid of those dumb thoughts of yours.  Hey, the book costs $20 shipped to your home and you can find it on the Wal-Mart webpage (It's cheaper there).
HAIL SATAN!!!

From: Forums Contributor <To:
Sent: Sun, March 10, 2013 12:36:43 PM
Subject: Re: Re: Taking a break from meditations and the group

  No suprise just about every message of yours is full of self defeating, statements. Your expressed inner dialogue, is defeatist.  Instead of finding reasons to tell yourself why you can't. Find some reason to tell yourself why are you are and why you want to continue the spiritual exercises. Everytime you get told good reasons to do the right thing. You counter with several to do nothing. You really want to take to road to loser town, that bad. Population most people. The secret of loser town is every individual in the town. Has the same defeating, inner dialogue. It takes  serious, hard work to be a loser. You have to defeat yourself everyday of the year. You become what you think and put your emotional energy into. So stop wasting time, you already stated you know spiritual exercises are the right thing. No more bitching get down to whats important. And learn to do them as something fun, its a joy not a chore. Thats part of it right there you are pointlessly stressing.
From: hailazazel <hailazazel@...
To:
Sent: Sunday, March 10, 2013 2:05:02 PM
Subject: Re: Taking a break from meditations and the group
  Yeah I'm now aware how stupid it is. Meditations are what going to save my ass but It's so hard to get on track.
I don't know something happened to me I just don't look at meditations anymore. I mean, I don't have the will to advance and evolve. I hope it's temporary because I do want to keep it up and meditate.

--- In mailto:, Igor Bedzor <igorbedzor@... wrote:

Another thing, I'm not judging you or something but I HIGHLY doubt Satan
would incentivate a son of his to stop meditating.
This may be your subconscious looking for approval. Next time come forth
and be open about it, we are not some fucking christian retards. You can be
open about your problems, you don't have to indirectly ask for advice, come
forth and ask for it. We are all here to help :)

On Sun, Mar 10, 2013 at 6:55 PM, Shannon Outlaw <soutlaw92@... wrote:

**



Hailazazel, I am very suprised at your decision. If you stop now do you
really think life will get better? The depression will get worse because of
stopping your meditations. Also the planets namely mars and Saturn will get
to you and ruin you especially if you get a hard transit. Meditation and
aura of protection protects you from fate. If you stop now you willbe just
aother statistic. But its your choice. Good luck. Also you should have an
idea of what father Satan would say to you. Dissapointment completely. You
have chace to grow powerful and achieve godhead many gentiles will ot find
the truth. Consider yourself blessed and lucky. We all are. I thought you
were going to do a working to get rid of the depression?.

------------------------------

On Sun, Mar 10, 2013 1:00 PM EDT keeperofstone wrote:

If that's your choice -So be it. Satanism is about free choice and
responsability. Many of us here have given you good advice and without
malice and yes life is a continuous test and adventure, make the best
decisions for yourself and by yourself - you are responsible.

Hail Satan


--- In mailto:, "hailazazel" <hailazazel@
wrote:

If that's the case, I don't have even one friend. But i'm friendly
person by nature, so seeing them is a must for me. From time to time

--- In mailto:, "radzio_ss" <truth.seeker1@
wrote:

Do what you think is right, but you should cut loose ties with people
that have destructive influence on you. Such people are not your friends-
just occasional pals that will leave you stranded once they get tired of
you or something will start going wrong. Are they even ready to accept you
as a Satanist? I doubt that. If someone is not willing to accept you for
who you are, then such person is not your friend. Simple. Elevating
yourself to the Godhood is more important then such leeches.

--- In mailto:, "hailazazel" <hailazazel@
wrote:

Dude is this some kind of test? It's like nature examines me to see
if i'm strong. The girl i've met, turns out she's a junkie. All my friends
have called me lately going out to drink. My work got so much hard I don't
know wtf is going. It all started at the party. Why the hell I went to that
party.

I want to continue meditating. I want to keep meditating I want to
elevate my soul. How do I get on track? It seems impossible from here trust
me. Should I just delete the number of the girl i've met? Just don't go out
with my friends anymore? How do I get it all back. Oh my god I'm so fucked
up. Will Satan give me a push on this?

--- In mailto:, "Zevios Metathronos"
<Zevios Metathronos@ wrote:

In other words, its only a phase that you will transform if you
keep going. Most of the time, when you're about to hit a checkpoint, things
will really hit the fan like this. Don't stop.

HAIL SATAN!!!!!!

--- In mailto:, Forums Contributor < wrote:

Quit the meddditations now and your life will get harder.



________________________________
From: hailazazel <hailazazel@
To: mailto:
Sent: Sunday, March 10, 2013 6:38:20 AM
Subject: Taking a break from meditations and
the group


Â

Hey you guys. I wanted to say you're all awesome and I enjoy
here very much but lately my life went really hard. My fucking depression
won't leave me alone. My mind is wandering all the time on this girl i've
met. Something good happens to me, my fucking mind can't stop daydreaming
about it. I'm so fucked up with all these obsessive thoughts I can't take
it anymore. Meditations get me into so much stress. If I don't read every
comment on the group I don't feel well. I have to read it all. FUCK. I'm so
angry so much time i'm trying to heal myself but it's too hard. I will not
commit suicide. Never. But trust me when I say life is so hard right now. I
have to take this break guys. I think even Satan looks at me and guides me
to take this break. It sounds silly I know.

I wanted to say you're all awesome, and don't you judge me, you
have no idea what I'm going through, what my damned fucking soul going
through.

I will be back
Click to expand...
 
Last edited by a moderator:
O ... Guess I didn't understand.

The GIRL did IT.

Women Always Get The Blame

Sounds a lot like Xainty to me.

Something that needs to be rooted out of your thinking.

Hail Satan

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@... wrote:

umm, I think you've misunderstood me.
I've said I suffer from depression for along, long time now. And the alcohol wasn't the cause. The cause for this hinder was that girl which I wrote last post. She didn't do anythin bad, it's just i'm obsessed with things like that and I think all the time about it.

--- In , "keeperofstone" <brucekuersteiner@ wrote:

OK You Win.

Alcohol is not a Depressant.

Guess all the Medical Studies are wrong.

Hail Satan

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@ wrote:

Yes I did drink at the party. Big mistake. But depression doesn't have to do with it as I suffer from it from when I remember myself.
I stop taking St. John's Wort I take it for 4 weeks now, and it's not helping.
And yes she is so not worth my time but how can I neglect her beauty?

--- In , "keeperofstone" <brucekuersteiner@ wrote:

Did you Drink at this party? If you did then it can bring on depression and lack of clarity of thought; it's called a hangover. I also, know you decided to use St. John's Wort a natural SSRI and that is not without side effects. Hot Junkies are just that Hot Junkies, not worth your energy. Reconsider.

Hail Satan

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@ wrote:

I didn't really decide. I only wrote it to get some motivational posts. It's so hard you have no clue Shannon.
Yes I thought I would do the working too untill I got to that stupid party that ruined everything. I'm about to crash here.
That fucking girl I can't stop thinking of her, but I know myself I will have to call her because it's me.

--- In , Shannon Outlaw <soutlaw92@ wrote:


Hailazazel, I am very suprised at your decision. If you stop now do you really think life will get better? The depression will get worse because of stopping your meditations. Also the planets namely mars and Saturn will get to you and ruin you especially if you get a hard transit. Meditation and aura of protection protects you from fate. If you stop now you willbe just aother statistic. But its your choice. Good luck. Also you should have an idea of what father Satan would say to you. Dissapointment completely. You have chace to grow powerful and achieve godhead many gentiles will ot find the truth. Consider yourself blessed and lucky. We all are. I thought you were going to do a working to get rid of the depression?.



------------------------------
On Sun, Mar 10, 2013 1:00 PM EDT keeperofstone wrote:

If that's your choice -So be it. Satanism is about free choice and responsability. Many of us here have given you good advice and without malice and yes life is a continuous test and adventure, make the best decisions for yourself and by yourself - you are responsible.

Hail Satan

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@ wrote:

If that's the case, I don't have even one friend. But i'm friendly person by nature, so seeing them is a must for me. From time to time

--- In , "radzio_ss" <truth.seeker1@ wrote:

Do what you think is right, but you should cut loose ties with people that have destructive influence on you. Such people are not your friends- just occasional pals that will leave you stranded once they get tired of you or something will start going wrong. Are they even ready to accept you as a Satanist? I doubt that. If someone is not willing to accept you for who you are, then such person is not your friend. Simple. Elevating yourself to the Godhood is more important then such leeches.

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@ wrote:

Dude is this some kind of test? It's like nature examines me to see if i'm strong. The girl i've met, turns out she's a junkie. All my friends have called me lately going out to drink. My work got so much hard I don't know wtf is going. It all started at the party. Why the hell I went to that party.

I want to continue meditating. I want to keep meditating I want to elevate my soul. How do I get on track? It seems impossible from here trust me. Should I just delete the number of the girl i've met? Just don't go out with my friends anymore? How do I get it all back. Oh my god I'm so fucked up. Will Satan give me a push on this?

--- In , "Zevios Metathronos" <Zevios Metathronos@ wrote:

In other words, its only a phase that you will transform if you keep going. Most of the time, when you're about to hit a checkpoint, things will really hit the fan like this. Don't stop.

HAIL SATAN!!!!!!

--- In , Forums Contributor < wrote:

Quit the meddditations now and your life will get harder.



________________________________
From: hailazazel <hailazazel@
To:
Sent: Sunday, March 10, 2013 6:38:20 AM
Subject: Taking a break from meditations and the group


 

Hey you guys. I wanted to say you're all awesome and I enjoy here very much but lately my life went really hard. My fucking depression won't leave me alone. My mind is wandering all the time on this girl i've met. Something good happens to me, my fucking mind can't stop daydreaming about it. I'm so fucked up with all these obsessive thoughts I can't take it anymore. Meditations get me into so much stress. If I don't read every comment on the group I don't feel well. I have to read it all. FUCK. I'm so angry so much time i'm trying to heal myself but it's too hard. I will not commit suicide. Never. But trust me when I say life is so hard right now. I have to take this break guys. I think even Satan looks at me and guides me to take this break. It sounds silly I know.

I wanted to say you're all awesome, and don't you judge me, you have no idea what I'm going through, what my damned fucking soul going through.

I will be back
Click to expand...
 
Last edited by a moderator:
keeperofstone, he meant his obsession with the girl, not the girl herself.

On Mon, Mar 11, 2013 at 1:13 AM, keeperofstone <[ email redacted ] wrote:
  O ... Guess I didn't understand.

The GIRL did IT.

Women Always Get The Blame

Sounds a lot like Xainty to me.

Something that needs to be rooted out of your thinking.

Hail Satan

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@... wrote:

umm, I think you've misunderstood me.
I've said I suffer from depression for along, long time now. And the alcohol wasn't the cause. The cause for this hinder was that girl which I wrote last post. She didn't do anythin bad, it's just i'm obsessed with things like that and I think all the time about it.

--- In , "keeperofstone" <brucekuersteiner@ wrote:

OK You Win.

Alcohol is not a Depressant.

Guess all the Medical Studies are wrong.

Hail Satan

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@ wrote:

Yes I did drink at the party. Big mistake. But depression doesn't have to do with it as I suffer from it from when I remember myself.
I stop taking St. John's Wort I take it for 4 weeks now, and it's not helping.
And yes she is so not worth my time but how can I neglect her beauty?

--- In , "keeperofstone" <brucekuersteiner@ wrote:

Did you Drink at this party? If you did then it can bring on depression and lack of clarity of thought; it's called a hangover. I also, know you decided to use St. John's Wort a natural SSRI and that is not without side effects. Hot Junkies are just that Hot Junkies, not worth your energy. Reconsider.

Hail Satan

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@ wrote:

I didn't really decide. I only wrote it to get some motivational posts. It's so hard you have no clue Shannon.
Yes I thought I would do the working too untill I got to that stupid party that ruined everything. I'm about to crash here.
That fucking girl I can't stop thinking of her, but I know myself I will have to call her because it's me.

--- In , Shannon Outlaw <soutlaw92@ wrote:


Hailazazel, I am very suprised at your decision. If you stop now do you really think life will get better? The depression will get worse because of stopping your meditations. Also the planets namely mars and Saturn will get to you and ruin you especially if you get a hard transit. Meditation and aura of protection protects you from fate. If you stop now you willbe just aother statistic. But its your choice. Good luck. Also you should have an idea of what father Satan would say to you. Dissapointment completely. You have chace to grow powerful and achieve godhead many gentiles will ot find the truth. Consider yourself blessed and lucky. We all are. I thought you were going to do a working to get rid of the depression?.



------------------------------
On Sun, Mar 10, 2013 1:00 PM EDT keeperofstone wrote:

If that's your choice -So be it. Satanism is about free choice and responsability. Many of us here have given you good advice and without malice and yes life is a continuous test and adventure, make the best decisions for yourself and by yourself - you are responsible.

Hail Satan

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@ wrote:

If that's the case, I don't have even one friend. But i'm friendly person by nature, so seeing them is a must for me. From time to time

--- In , "radzio_ss" <truth.seeker1@ wrote:

Do what you think is right, but you should cut loose ties with people that have destructive influence on you. Such people are not your friends- just occasional pals that will leave you stranded once they get tired of you or something will start going wrong. Are they even ready to accept you as a Satanist? I doubt that. If someone is not willing to accept you for who you are, then such person is not your friend. Simple. Elevating yourself to the Godhood is more important then such leeches.

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@ wrote:

Dude is this some kind of test? It's like nature examines me to see if i'm strong. The girl i've met, turns out she's a junkie. All my friends have called me lately going out to drink. My work got so much hard I don't know wtf is going. It all started at the party. Why the hell I went to that party.

I want to continue meditating. I want to keep meditating I want to elevate my soul. How do I get on track? It seems impossible from here trust me. Should I just delete the number of the girl i've met? Just don't go out with my friends anymore? How do I get it all back. Oh my god I'm so fucked up. Will Satan give me a push on this?

--- In , "Zevios Metathronos" <Zevios Metathronos@ wrote:

In other words, its only a phase that you will transform if you keep going. Most of the time, when you're about to hit a checkpoint, things will really hit the fan like this. Don't stop.

HAIL SATAN!!!!!!

--- In , Forums Contributor < wrote:

Quit the meddditations now and your life will get harder.



________________________________
From: hailazazel <hailazazel@
To:
Sent: Sunday, March 10, 2013 6:38:20 AM
Subject: Taking a break from meditations and the group


 

Hey you guys. I wanted to say you're all awesome and I enjoy here very much but lately my life went really hard. My fucking depression won't leave me alone. My mind is wandering all the time on this girl i've met. Something good happens to me, my fucking mind can't stop daydreaming about it. I'm so fucked up with all these obsessive thoughts I can't take it anymore. Meditations get me into so much stress. If I don't read every comment on the group I don't feel well. I have to read it all. FUCK. I'm so angry so much time i'm trying to heal myself but it's too hard. I will not commit suicide. Never. But trust me when I say life is so hard right now. I have to take this break guys. I think even Satan looks at me and guides me to take this break. It sounds silly I know.

I wanted to say you're all awesome, and don't you judge me, you have no idea what I'm going through, what my damned fucking soul going through.

I will be back
Click to expand...
Click to expand...
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Be strong Brother, and do not give up! For if you do so, you are
letting them win. By them I mean the enemy. Do I know exactly what you
are going through? No, of course I don't. However, I do know life. It
can be a right bitch sometimes; and bad planetary transits, enemy
attacks and such do not help matters. But you have to try and rise
above it, hard as that is. I know sometimes it probably feels as
though you will drown in the rising tides of life, but you will not,
because Father is with you. The other Gods of Elysium are with you. And
we are all with you. We are your family after all, and truly your
friends. Trust yourself, and trust the Gods. And do not despair! Also,
try talking to father Satan about this; you needn't do a ritual if you
don't want to, just talk to him like you would normally talk to a
friend who is sitting in the room with you. Because, Satan is most
definitely your friend...perhaps the best friend you could want. Hail
Father Satan always! Hail Lord Andras! Hail Sorath, the one that
burns!

On 3/10/13, Igor Bedzor <[ email redacted ] wrote:
keeperofstone, he meant his obsession with the girl, not the girl herself.

On Mon, Mar 11, 2013 at 1:13 AM, keeperofstone
<[ email redacted ]wrote:

**


O ... Guess I didn't understand.

The GIRL did IT.

Women Always Get The Blame

Sounds a lot like Xainty to me.

Something that needs to be rooted out of your thinking.

Hail Satan


--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@...
wrote:

umm, I think you've misunderstood me.
I've said I suffer from depression for along, long time now. And the
alcohol wasn't the cause. The cause for this hinder was that girl which I
wrote last post. She didn't do anythin bad, it's just i'm obsessed with
things like that and I think all the time about it.

--- In , "keeperofstone"
<brucekuersteiner@
wrote:

OK You Win.

Alcohol is not a Depressant.

Guess all the Medical Studies are wrong.

Hail Satan

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@
wrote:

Yes I did drink at the party. Big mistake. But depression doesn't
have to do with it as I suffer from it from when I remember myself.
I stop taking St. John's Wort I take it for 4 weeks now, and it's
not helping.
And yes she is so not worth my time but how can I neglect her
beauty?

--- In , "keeperofstone"
<brucekuersteiner@ wrote:

Did you Drink at this party? If you did then it can bring on
depression and lack of clarity of thought; it's called a hangover. I
also,
know you decided to use St. John's Wort a natural SSRI and that is not
without side effects. Hot Junkies are just that Hot Junkies, not worth
your
energy. Reconsider.

Hail Satan

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@
wrote:

I didn't really decide. I only wrote it to get some
motivational
posts. It's so hard you have no clue Shannon.
Yes I thought I would do the working too untill I got to that
stupid party that ruined everything. I'm about to crash here.
That fucking girl I can't stop thinking of her, but I know
myself I will have to call her because it's me.

--- In , Shannon Outlaw
<soutlaw92@
wrote:


Hailazazel, I am very suprised at your decision. If you stop
now do you really think life will get better? The depression will get
worse
because of stopping your meditations. Also the planets namely mars and
Saturn will get to you and ruin you especially if you get a hard transit.
Meditation and aura of protection protects you from fate. If you stop now
you willbe just aother statistic. But its your choice. Good luck. Also
you
should have an idea of what father Satan would say to you. Dissapointment
completely. You have chace to grow powerful and achieve godhead many
gentiles will ot find the truth. Consider yourself blessed and lucky. We
all are. I thought you were going to do a working to get rid of the
depression?.



------------------------------
On Sun, Mar 10, 2013 1:00 PM EDT keeperofstone wrote:

If that's your choice -So be it. Satanism is about free
choice and responsability. Many of us here have given you good advice and
without malice and yes life is a continuous test and adventure, make the
best decisions for yourself and by yourself - you are responsible.

Hail Satan

--- In , "hailazazel"
<hailazazel@ wrote:

If that's the case, I don't have even one friend. But i'm
friendly person by nature, so seeing them is a must for me. From time to
time

--- In , "radzio_ss"
<truth.seeker1@ wrote:

Do what you think is right, but you should cut loose
ties
with people that have destructive influence on you. Such people are not
your friends- just occasional pals that will leave you stranded once they
get tired of you or something will start going wrong. Are they even ready
to accept you as a Satanist? I doubt that. If someone is not willing to
accept you for who you are, then such person is not your friend. Simple.
Elevating yourself to the Godhood is more important then such leeches.

--- In , "hailazazel"
<hailazazel@ wrote:

Dude is this some kind of test? It's like nature
examines me to see if i'm strong. The girl i've met, turns out she's a
junkie. All my friends have called me lately going out to drink. My work
got so much hard I don't know wtf is going. It all started at the party.
Why the hell I went to that party.

I want to continue meditating. I want to keep
meditating I want to elevate my soul. How do I get on track? It seems
impossible from here trust me. Should I just delete the number of the
girl
i've met? Just don't go out with my friends anymore? How do I get it all
back. Oh my god I'm so fucked up. Will Satan give me a push on this?

--- In , "Zevios Metathronos"
<Zevios Metathronos@ wrote:

In other words, its only a phase that you will
transform if you keep going. Most of the time, when you're about to hit a
checkpoint, things will really hit the fan like this. Don't stop.

HAIL SATAN!!!!!!

--- In , Forums Contributor
< wrote:

Quit the meddditations now and your life will get
harder.



________________________________
From: hailazazel <hailazazel@
To:
Sent: Sunday, March 10, 2013 6:38:20 AM
Subject: Taking a break from
meditations and the group


Â

Hey you guys. I wanted to say you're all awesome
and I enjoy here very much but lately my life went really hard. My
fucking
depression won't leave me alone. My mind is wandering all the time on
this
girl i've met. Something good happens to me, my fucking mind can't stop
daydreaming about it. I'm so fucked up with all these obsessive thoughts
I
can't take it anymore. Meditations get me into so much stress. If I don't
read every comment on the group I don't feel well. I have to read it all.
FUCK. I'm so angry so much time i'm trying to heal myself but it's too
hard. I will not commit suicide. Never. But trust me when I say life is
so
hard right now. I have to take this break guys. I think even Satan looks
at
me and guides me to take this break. It sounds silly I know.

I wanted to say you're all awesome, and don't you
judge me, you have no idea what I'm going through, what my damned fucking
soul going through.

I will be back
Click to expand...
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I'm not sure where you are at in this discussion now, as I am coming in late. But I think you're just doing what I did for years. Procrastinating. You know the problem, you know how to solve it. But isntead you choose to run from the hard and accept the easy? The easy never gets us anywhere, we never learn anything nor grow.

About this time last year I was in a very difficult relationship with a girl. Long story short, she was very bad for me, and became a huge problem to my personal and spiritual progress. Not many know, but she caused me to get lazy and stop meditating for about 2 years. During this time I went from an all time high, to complete depression and contemplating suicide - taking the easy rode.
For about a year or longer, I knew what the problem was, and what I needed to do to fix my life and get back on my evolutionary track, but I just felt like I couldn't.

I then started asking Satan for help, but this time it was different from the other times. This time I meant it, and this time I knew I'd do what it'd take. And he got back to me. And he helped me get out of the relationship. He showed me the steps I should take, helped me get back into meditation (as well as a fellow Sister in Satan), and from there I was able to find my feet, and grow back to where I am today, further than I've been before. I completely cut this girl out of my life, drew the line, did the nessacery workings and got out of the relationship.

From there, it is a lesson learnt, and you can only move forward, can only progress and continue to grow. These downfalls and low points happen, thats life, and as we are progressing they will come up as we clear our soul out of all negativities. The evolution and ascension of the soul is a clean out, a cleansing of our being. So these down points, better put, these challanges, must be faced, and overcome. Through this we prove ourselves, prove our Dedication to Father and our Fellow Satanists and Ourselves. And we learn that we are strong as a person, and that we can rise to any challange and defeat whatever may come in our way to Godhood and Satan.

You know what the problem is, you know how to solve it. The challange is before you, now its all up to you.

'Strength comes through adversity, not through ease.'

Goodluck brother! Do what must be done!

Hail Satan! Praise the True Gods of Old!

-En Haradren Amlug.

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@... wrote:

Thanks xavier! I know I did my Yoga routine earlier and i feel better now. Thanks

--- In , Xavier Skaggs <xavi3rskaggs@ wrote:

Don't do it! I did exactly what you did thinking I needed a break but guess what? My energies went down and life went to shit even more. This is the best time to keep meditating to counter your depression and do void meditation if thoughts are getting in your way.


________________________________
From: hailazazel <hailazazel@
To:
Sent: Sunday, March 10, 2013 5:38 AM
Subject: Taking a break from meditations and the group


 
Hey you guys. I wanted to say you're all awesome and I enjoy here very much but lately my life went really hard. My fucking depression won't leave me alone. My mind is wandering all the time on this girl i've met. Something good happens to me, my fucking mind can't stop daydreaming about it. I'm so fucked up with all these obsessive thoughts I can't take it anymore. Meditations get me into so much stress. If I don't read every comment on the group I don't feel well. I have to read it all. FUCK. I'm so angry so much time i'm trying to heal myself but it's too hard. I will not commit suicide. Never. But trust me when I say life is so hard right now. I have to take this break guys. I think even Satan looks at me and guides me to take this break. It sounds silly I know.

I wanted to say you're all awesome, and don't you judge me, you have no idea what I'm going through, what my damned fucking soul going through.

I will be back
Click to expand...
 
I believe that this is an Infatuation and not an Obssession. He has an unreasoning, foolish desire for this Girl and blames it on her.

I have spent at least 6 hours time tryning to come up with postive solutions (advice) for his problems. Even as to confering with 2 Pharamacists (Chemists), applying my knowledge of nutrition and natural medicine all the while taking into consideration his age and sex. - and he seems unable or unwilling to try any of the suggestions. He even went so far as to drink when he has depression and is taking an SSRI - You don't take a depressant when you are depressed or mix herbal drugs with alcohol.

He needs to get control of his thoughts and emotions something meditation and orgasm could greatly help in this regards,

These suggestions are meant to help not hinder but one has to try and apply them if one wants to get better.

This is my final post concerning this.

Enden

Terminarsi

Terminarse

Hail Satan

--- In , Igor Bedzor <igorbedzor@... wrote:

keeperofstone, he meant his obsession with the girl, not the girl herself.

On Mon, Mar 11, 2013 at 1:13 AM, keeperofstone
<[email protected]:

**


O ... Guess I didn't understand.

The GIRL did IT.

Women Always Get The Blame

Sounds a lot like Xainty to me.

Something that needs to be rooted out of your thinking.

Hail Satan


--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@ wrote:

umm, I think you've misunderstood me.
I've said I suffer from depression for along, long time now. And the
alcohol wasn't the cause. The cause for this hinder was that girl which I
wrote last post. She didn't do anythin bad, it's just i'm obsessed with
things like that and I think all the time about it.

--- In , "keeperofstone" <brucekuersteiner@
wrote:

OK You Win.

Alcohol is not a Depressant.

Guess all the Medical Studies are wrong.

Hail Satan

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@
wrote:

Yes I did drink at the party. Big mistake. But depression doesn't
have to do with it as I suffer from it from when I remember myself.
I stop taking St. John's Wort I take it for 4 weeks now, and it's
not helping.
And yes she is so not worth my time but how can I neglect her beauty?

--- In , "keeperofstone"
<brucekuersteiner@ wrote:

Did you Drink at this party? If you did then it can bring on
depression and lack of clarity of thought; it's called a hangover. I also,
know you decided to use St. John's Wort a natural SSRI and that is not
without side effects. Hot Junkies are just that Hot Junkies, not worth your
energy. Reconsider.

Hail Satan

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@
wrote:

I didn't really decide. I only wrote it to get some motivational
posts. It's so hard you have no clue Shannon.
Yes I thought I would do the working too untill I got to that
stupid party that ruined everything. I'm about to crash here.
That fucking girl I can't stop thinking of her, but I know
myself I will have to call her because it's me.

--- In , Shannon Outlaw <soutlaw92@
wrote:


Hailazazel, I am very suprised at your decision. If you stop
now do you really think life will get better? The depression will get worse
because of stopping your meditations. Also the planets namely mars and
Saturn will get to you and ruin you especially if you get a hard transit.
Meditation and aura of protection protects you from fate. If you stop now
you willbe just aother statistic. But its your choice. Good luck. Also you
should have an idea of what father Satan would say to you. Dissapointment
completely. You have chace to grow powerful and achieve godhead many
gentiles will ot find the truth. Consider yourself blessed and lucky. We
all are. I thought you were going to do a working to get rid of the
depression?.



------------------------------
On Sun, Mar 10, 2013 1:00 PM EDT keeperofstone wrote:

If that's your choice -So be it. Satanism is about free
choice and responsability. Many of us here have given you good advice and
without malice and yes life is a continuous test and adventure, make the
best decisions for yourself and by yourself - you are responsible.

Hail Satan

--- In , "hailazazel"
<hailazazel@ wrote:

If that's the case, I don't have even one friend. But i'm
friendly person by nature, so seeing them is a must for me. From time to
time

--- In , "radzio_ss"
<truth.seeker1@ wrote:

Do what you think is right, but you should cut loose ties
with people that have destructive influence on you. Such people are not
your friends- just occasional pals that will leave you stranded once they
get tired of you or something will start going wrong. Are they even ready
to accept you as a Satanist? I doubt that. If someone is not willing to
accept you for who you are, then such person is not your friend. Simple.
Elevating yourself to the Godhood is more important then such leeches.

--- In , "hailazazel"
<hailazazel@ wrote:

Dude is this some kind of test? It's like nature
examines me to see if i'm strong. The girl i've met, turns out she's a
junkie. All my friends have called me lately going out to drink. My work
got so much hard I don't know wtf is going. It all started at the party.
Why the hell I went to that party.

I want to continue meditating. I want to keep
meditating I want to elevate my soul. How do I get on track? It seems
impossible from here trust me. Should I just delete the number of the girl
i've met? Just don't go out with my friends anymore? How do I get it all
back. Oh my god I'm so fucked up. Will Satan give me a push on this?

--- In , "Zevios Metathronos"
<Zevios Metathronos@ wrote:

In other words, its only a phase that you will
transform if you keep going. Most of the time, when you're about to hit a
checkpoint, things will really hit the fan like this. Don't stop.

HAIL SATAN!!!!!!

--- In , Forums Contributor
< wrote:

Quit the meddditations now and your life will get
harder.



________________________________
From: hailazazel <hailazazel@
To:
Sent: Sunday, March 10, 2013 6:38:20 AM
Subject: Taking a break from
meditations and the group


Â

Hey you guys. I wanted to say you're all awesome
and I enjoy here very much but lately my life went really hard. My fucking
depression won't leave me alone. My mind is wandering all the time on this
girl i've met. Something good happens to me, my fucking mind can't stop
daydreaming about it. I'm so fucked up with all these obsessive thoughts I
can't take it anymore. Meditations get me into so much stress. If I don't
read every comment on the group I don't feel well. I have to read it all.
FUCK. I'm so angry so much time i'm trying to heal myself but it's too
hard. I will not commit suicide. Never. But trust me when I say life is so
hard right now. I have to take this break guys. I think even Satan looks at
me and guides me to take this break. It sounds silly I know.

I wanted to say you're all awesome, and don't you
judge me, you have no idea what I'm going through, what my damned fucking
soul going through.

I will be back
Click to expand...
 
Last edited by a moderator:
The right thing to do is obvious. Not even getting with her, just leave it. I feel alot better now. I did my meditations today and it just showed me how I need it. How my soul needs it. I actually feel better. Deleting her number is the second step I need to take but a hard one since i'm a very obsessive guy. Thanks for the motivating post.

HAIL SATAN!!!!!!

--- In , "En Haradren Amlug" <hecktic_shadow@... wrote:

I'm not sure where you are at in this discussion now, as I am coming in late. But I think you're just doing what I did for years. Procrastinating. You know the problem, you know how to solve it. But isntead you choose to run from the hard and accept the easy? The easy never gets us anywhere, we never learn anything nor grow.

About this time last year I was in a very difficult relationship with a girl. Long story short, she was very bad for me, and became a huge problem to my personal and spiritual progress. Not many know, but she caused me to get lazy and stop meditating for about 2 years. During this time I went from an all time high, to complete depression and contemplating suicide - taking the easy rode.
For about a year or longer, I knew what the problem was, and what I needed to do to fix my life and get back on my evolutionary track, but I just felt like I couldn't.

I then started asking Satan for help, but this time it was different from the other times. This time I meant it, and this time I knew I'd do what it'd take. And he got back to me. And he helped me get out of the relationship. He showed me the steps I should take, helped me get back into meditation (as well as a fellow Sister in Satan), and from there I was able to find my feet, and grow back to where I am today, further than I've been before. I completely cut this girl out of my life, drew the line, did the nessacery workings and got out of the relationship.

From there, it is a lesson learnt, and you can only move forward, can only progress and continue to grow. These downfalls and low points happen, thats life, and as we are progressing they will come up as we clear our soul out of all negativities. The evolution and ascension of the soul is a clean out, a cleansing of our being. So these down points, better put, these challanges, must be faced, and overcome. Through this we prove ourselves, prove our Dedication to Father and our Fellow Satanists and Ourselves. And we learn that we are strong as a person, and that we can rise to any challange and defeat whatever may come in our way to Godhood and Satan.

You know what the problem is, you know how to solve it. The challange is before you, now its all up to you.

'Strength comes through adversity, not through ease.'

Goodluck brother! Do what must be done!

Hail Satan! Praise the True Gods of Old!

-En Haradren Amlug.

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@ wrote:

Thanks xavier! I know I did my Yoga routine earlier and i feel better now. Thanks

--- In , Xavier Skaggs <xavi3rskaggs@ wrote:

Don't do it! I did exactly what you did thinking I needed a break but guess what? My energies went down and life went to shit even more. This is the best time to keep meditating to counter your depression and do void meditation if thoughts are getting in your way.


________________________________
From: hailazazel <hailazazel@
To:
Sent: Sunday, March 10, 2013 5:38 AM
Subject: Taking a break from meditations and the group


 
Hey you guys. I wanted to say you're all awesome and I enjoy here very much but lately my life went really hard. My fucking depression won't leave me alone. My mind is wandering all the time on this girl i've met. Something good happens to me, my fucking mind can't stop daydreaming about it. I'm so fucked up with all these obsessive thoughts I can't take it anymore. Meditations get me into so much stress. If I don't read every comment on the group I don't feel well. I have to read it all. FUCK. I'm so angry so much time i'm trying to heal myself but it's too hard. I will not commit suicide. Never. But trust me when I say life is so hard right now. I have to take this break guys. I think even Satan looks at me and guides me to take this break. It sounds silly I know.

I wanted to say you're all awesome, and don't you judge me, you have no idea what I'm going through, what my damned fucking soul going through.

I will be back
Click to expand...
 
I actually wrote it very clearly. This girl did nothing to me. It's just i'm obsessed with things like that. I literally can think about such little thing for weeks. Hindering my progress. That's what I meant. The girl did nothing except for giving her number to me. That's all. I don't know how to explain myself better.

--- In , "keeperofstone" <brucekuersteiner@... wrote:

O ... Guess I didn't understand.

The GIRL did IT.

Women Always Get The Blame

Sounds a lot like Xainty to me.

Something that needs to be rooted out of your thinking.

Hail Satan

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@ wrote:

umm, I think you've misunderstood me.
I've said I suffer from depression for along, long time now. And the alcohol wasn't the cause. The cause for this hinder was that girl which I wrote last post. She didn't do anythin bad, it's just i'm obsessed with things like that and I think all the time about it.

--- In , "keeperofstone" <brucekuersteiner@ wrote:

OK You Win.

Alcohol is not a Depressant.

Guess all the Medical Studies are wrong.

Hail Satan

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@ wrote:

Yes I did drink at the party. Big mistake. But depression doesn't have to do with it as I suffer from it from when I remember myself.
I stop taking St. John's Wort I take it for 4 weeks now, and it's not helping.
And yes she is so not worth my time but how can I neglect her beauty?

--- In , "keeperofstone" <brucekuersteiner@ wrote:

Did you Drink at this party? If you did then it can bring on depression and lack of clarity of thought; it's called a hangover. I also, know you decided to use St. John's Wort a natural SSRI and that is not without side effects. Hot Junkies are just that Hot Junkies, not worth your energy. Reconsider.

Hail Satan

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@ wrote:

I didn't really decide. I only wrote it to get some motivational posts. It's so hard you have no clue Shannon.
Yes I thought I would do the working too untill I got to that stupid party that ruined everything. I'm about to crash here.
That fucking girl I can't stop thinking of her, but I know myself I will have to call her because it's me.

--- In , Shannon Outlaw <soutlaw92@ wrote:


Hailazazel, I am very suprised at your decision. If you stop now do you really think life will get better? The depression will get worse because of stopping your meditations. Also the planets namely mars and Saturn will get to you and ruin you especially if you get a hard transit. Meditation and aura of protection protects you from fate. If you stop now you willbe just aother statistic. But its your choice. Good luck. Also you should have an idea of what father Satan would say to you. Dissapointment completely. You have chace to grow powerful and achieve godhead many gentiles will ot find the truth. Consider yourself blessed and lucky. We all are. I thought you were going to do a working to get rid of the depression?.



------------------------------
On Sun, Mar 10, 2013 1:00 PM EDT keeperofstone wrote:

If that's your choice -So be it. Satanism is about free choice and responsability. Many of us here have given you good advice and without malice and yes life is a continuous test and adventure, make the best decisions for yourself and by yourself - you are responsible.

Hail Satan

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@ wrote:

If that's the case, I don't have even one friend. But i'm friendly person by nature, so seeing them is a must for me. From time to time

--- In , "radzio_ss" <truth.seeker1@ wrote:

Do what you think is right, but you should cut loose ties with people that have destructive influence on you. Such people are not your friends- just occasional pals that will leave you stranded once they get tired of you or something will start going wrong. Are they even ready to accept you as a Satanist? I doubt that. If someone is not willing to accept you for who you are, then such person is not your friend. Simple. Elevating yourself to the Godhood is more important then such leeches.

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@ wrote:

Dude is this some kind of test? It's like nature examines me to see if i'm strong. The girl i've met, turns out she's a junkie. All my friends have called me lately going out to drink. My work got so much hard I don't know wtf is going. It all started at the party. Why the hell I went to that party.

I want to continue meditating. I want to keep meditating I want to elevate my soul. How do I get on track? It seems impossible from here trust me. Should I just delete the number of the girl i've met? Just don't go out with my friends anymore? How do I get it all back. Oh my god I'm so fucked up. Will Satan give me a push on this?

--- In , "Zevios Metathronos" <Zevios Metathronos@ wrote:

In other words, its only a phase that you will transform if you keep going. Most of the time, when you're about to hit a checkpoint, things will really hit the fan like this. Don't stop.

HAIL SATAN!!!!!!

--- In , Forums Contributor < wrote:

Quit the meddditations now and your life will get harder.



________________________________
From: hailazazel <hailazazel@
To:
Sent: Sunday, March 10, 2013 6:38:20 AM
Subject: Taking a break from meditations and the group


 

Hey you guys. I wanted to say you're all awesome and I enjoy here very much but lately my life went really hard. My fucking depression won't leave me alone. My mind is wandering all the time on this girl i've met. Something good happens to me, my fucking mind can't stop daydreaming about it. I'm so fucked up with all these obsessive thoughts I can't take it anymore. Meditations get me into so much stress. If I don't read every comment on the group I don't feel well. I have to read it all. FUCK. I'm so angry so much time i'm trying to heal myself but it's too hard. I will not commit suicide. Never. But trust me when I say life is so hard right now. I have to take this break guys. I think even Satan looks at me and guides me to take this break. It sounds silly I know.

I wanted to say you're all awesome, and don't you judge me, you have no idea what I'm going through, what my damned fucking soul going through.

I will be back
Click to expand...
 
Last edited by a moderator:
To Hail Azazel, in my opinion I must say that you have an impressionist attitude which makes you susceptible to attacks and negativity. I'm not suggesting that you shouldn't vent out but this post and a few others you have posted point to the fact that you are always 'flabberwhelmed' and 'overghasted' by difficulties. Moreso study your astro configuration. It's only natural that you either get your soul stronger or become extint.
HAIL FATHER SATAN!!

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@... wrote:

Hey you guys. I wanted to say you're all awesome and I enjoy here very much but lately my life went really hard. My fucking depression won't leave me alone. My mind is wandering all the time on this girl i've met. Something good happens to me, my fucking mind can't stop daydreaming about it. I'm so fucked up with all these obsessive thoughts I can't take it anymore. Meditations get me into so much stress. If I don't read every comment on the group I don't feel well. I have to read it all. FUCK. I'm so angry so much time i'm trying to heal myself but it's too hard. I will not commit suicide. Never. But trust me when I say life is so hard right now. I have to take this break guys. I think even Satan looks at me and guides me to take this break. It sounds silly I know.

I wanted to say you're all awesome, and don't you judge me, you have no idea what I'm going through, what my damned fucking soul going through.

I will be back
Click to expand...
 
You are a SATANIST, correct? You did the dedication, yes? Being a Satanist is not easy. Its not an escape from the trials and tribulations of the real world. I know that I personally can relate to your situation, and I DO know how hard it is, but it is simply a matter of CHOICE. I have suffered from depression and even addiction for most of my life and come from a long line of mental illness. I know the overwhelming feelings of obsession, infatuation and compulsion. I know them TOO well because its all of these things combined that nearly KILLED me on multiple occasions, and I mean that quite literally. Thankfully I finally made the decision to quit being a self-loathing lazy satanist and I chose LIFE and chose to be the TRUE SATANIST that I am supposed to be. You have free knowledge and a vast network of other practicing Satanists here to help you advance. Why in HELL would you want to jeopardize all of that and settle for some "hot" drug addict??? You have already stated that your logical mind tells you she is not good for you. Why don't you actually APPLY that logic and delete her number? You already know that is what you need to do, and I'm quite certain you've probably already seen multiple signs to confirm this, aside from all of the posts here. Hot chicks will come and go. You don't have any real emotional or physical ties to this girl, so just walk away from it, plain and simple. I know I personally would not want to have that discussion with our Father by any means. How would you even BEGIN to explain that one?... Satan: "So what you are trying to tell me is that I gave you all of this knowledge and the opportunity to be a GOD and you decided it would be better for you to be self-defeating in order to keep fake friends and possibly hook-up with a drug addict?" You: "but Satan, she was HOT and you don't know how hard it is..."  Think about THAT for a few minutes. When I realized that MY life and my spiritual advancement were in certain turmoil, guess what... I changed my entire life, and it was PAINFUL. The thing is, the pain I experienced from making the right decision was nothing in comparison to how miserable I was drinking, using drugs and obsessing over girls who didn't truly give a shit about ME to begin with. On this path I continuously make new friends, but I lose friends constantly as well. That's just part of life and how bad you want to live it. I meet people all of the time that seem really intelligent and funny and cool, but once I discover that they may drink too much, or they do drugs, I very quickly make it a point to keep them at arms-length and let them weed themselves out. For some its quicker than others. Some I will elimate immediately if I view them as detremental to my spiritual well-being. It wasn't easy at first, but with time, meditation and self-confidence it becomes second nature. I can spot someone who is trouble from a mile away and I know exactly how to deal with them. I've also been free from drugs & alcohol for the better part of a decade now. I do not allow myself to clain "depression". I refuse to carry the title of an illness when I have ability to destroy it. The point to this is that you are not unique, you are not alone, and you have the knowledge, power, and ability to rise above all of this meaningless crap if you choose. It is only "too hard" if you allow it to be. I've read through all of these posts, and I have seen so much incredible advice and opinion, and every single post has value to it, even if some may seem harsh. Sometimes the truth is extremely harsh, and part of being a Satanist is being able to SEE truth, KNOW truth, HANDLE truth, and APPLY truth. So now at this point I'm going to say QUIT SAYING "CAN'T", delete that girls damn number, and start focusing on truly empowering yourself.  HAIL SATAN!!!
On Mar 11, 2013 11:03 PM, "zir_gohed1" <[ email redacted ] wrote:
  To Hail Azazel, in my opinion I must say that you have an impressionist attitude which makes you susceptible to attacks and negativity. I'm not suggesting that you shouldn't vent out but this post and a few others you have posted point to the fact that you are always 'flabberwhelmed' and 'overghasted' by difficulties. Moreso study your astro configuration. It's only natural that you either get your soul stronger or become extint.
HAIL FATHER SATAN!!

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@... wrote:

Hey you guys. I wanted to say you're all awesome and I enjoy here very much but lately my life went really hard. My fucking depression won't leave me alone. My mind is wandering all the time on this girl i've met. Something good happens to me, my fucking mind can't stop daydreaming about it. I'm so fucked up with all these obsessive thoughts I can't take it anymore. Meditations get me into so much stress. If I don't read every comment on the group I don't feel well. I have to read it all. FUCK. I'm so angry so much time i'm trying to heal myself but it's too hard. I will not commit suicide. Never. But trust me when I say life is so hard right now. I have to take this break guys. I think even Satan looks at me and guides me to take this break. It sounds silly I know.

I wanted to say you're all awesome, and don't you judge me, you have no idea what I'm going through, what my damned fucking soul going through.

I will be back
Click to expand...
Click to expand...
 
Happiness is a choice. A person makes their life what it is.
If they choose the wrong path and become miserable, they have no one to blame but their self.





--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@... wrote:

The right thing to do is obvious. Not even getting with her, just leave it. I feel alot better now. I did my meditations today and it just showed me how I need it. How my soul needs it. I actually feel better. Deleting her number is the second step I need to take but a hard one since i'm a very obsessive guy. Thanks for the motivating post.

HAIL SATAN!!!!!!

--- In , "En Haradren Amlug" <hecktic_shadow@ wrote:

I'm not sure where you are at in this discussion now, as I am coming in late. But I think you're just doing what I did for years. Procrastinating. You know the problem, you know how to solve it. But isntead you choose to run from the hard and accept the easy? The easy never gets us anywhere, we never learn anything nor grow.

About this time last year I was in a very difficult relationship with a girl. Long story short, she was very bad for me, and became a huge problem to my personal and spiritual progress. Not many know, but she caused me to get lazy and stop meditating for about 2 years. During this time I went from an all time high, to complete depression and contemplating suicide - taking the easy rode.
For about a year or longer, I knew what the problem was, and what I needed to do to fix my life and get back on my evolutionary track, but I just felt like I couldn't.

I then started asking Satan for help, but this time it was different from the other times. This time I meant it, and this time I knew I'd do what it'd take. And he got back to me. And he helped me get out of the relationship. He showed me the steps I should take, helped me get back into meditation (as well as a fellow Sister in Satan), and from there I was able to find my feet, and grow back to where I am today, further than I've been before. I completely cut this girl out of my life, drew the line, did the nessacery workings and got out of the relationship.

From there, it is a lesson learnt, and you can only move forward, can only progress and continue to grow. These downfalls and low points happen, thats life, and as we are progressing they will come up as we clear our soul out of all negativities. The evolution and ascension of the soul is a clean out, a cleansing of our being. So these down points, better put, these challanges, must be faced, and overcome. Through this we prove ourselves, prove our Dedication to Father and our Fellow Satanists and Ourselves. And we learn that we are strong as a person, and that we can rise to any challange and defeat whatever may come in our way to Godhood and Satan.

You know what the problem is, you know how to solve it. The challange is before you, now its all up to you.

'Strength comes through adversity, not through ease.'

Goodluck brother! Do what must be done!

Hail Satan! Praise the True Gods of Old!

-En Haradren Amlug.

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@ wrote:

Thanks xavier! I know I did my Yoga routine earlier and i feel better now. Thanks

--- In , Xavier Skaggs <xavi3rskaggs@ wrote:

Don't do it! I did exactly what you did thinking I needed a break but guess what? My energies went down and life went to shit even more. This is the best time to keep meditating to counter your depression and do void meditation if thoughts are getting in your way.


________________________________
From: hailazazel <hailazazel@
To:
Sent: Sunday, March 10, 2013 5:38 AM
Subject: Taking a break from meditations and the group


 
Hey you guys. I wanted to say you're all awesome and I enjoy here very much but lately my life went really hard. My fucking depression won't leave me alone. My mind is wandering all the time on this girl i've met. Something good happens to me, my fucking mind can't stop daydreaming about it. I'm so fucked up with all these obsessive thoughts I can't take it anymore. Meditations get me into so much stress. If I don't read every comment on the group I don't feel well. I have to read it all. FUCK. I'm so angry so much time i'm trying to heal myself but it's too hard. I will not commit suicide. Never. But trust me when I say life is so hard right now. I have to take this break guys. I think even Satan looks at me and guides me to take this break. It sounds silly I know.

I wanted to say you're all awesome, and don't you judge me, you have no idea what I'm going through, what my damned fucking soul going through.

I will be back
Click to expand...
 
--- In , Damien Blackheart <dgtgraphics@... wrote:
You are a SATANIST, correct? You did the dedication, yes? Being a Satanist
is not easy. Its not an escape from the trials and tribulations of the real
world. I know that I personally can relate to your situation, and I DO know
how hard it is, but it is simply a matter of CHOICE. I have suffered from
depression and even addiction for most of my life and come from a long line
of mental illness. I know the overwhelming feelings of obsession,
infatuation and compulsion. I know them TOO well because its all of these
things combined that nearly KILLED me on multiple occasions, and I mean
that quite literally. Thankfully I finally made the decision to quit being
a self-loathing lazy satanist and I chose LIFE and chose to be the TRUE
SATANIST that I am supposed to be. You have free knowledge and a vast
network of other practicing Satanists here to help you advance. Why in HELL
would you want to jeopardize all of that and settle for some "hot" drug
addict??? You have already stated that your logical mind tells you she is
not good for you. Why don't you actually APPLY that logic and delete her
number? You already know that is what you need to do, and I'm quite certain
you've probably already seen multiple signs to confirm this, aside from all
of the posts here. Hot chicks will come and go. You don't have any real
emotional or physical ties to this girl, so just walk away from it, plain
and simple. I know I personally would not want to have that discussion with
our Father by any means. How would you even BEGIN to explain that one?...
Satan: "So what you are trying to tell me is that I gave you all of this
knowledge and the opportunity to be a GOD and you decided it would be
better for you to be self-defeating in order to keep fake friends and
possibly hook-up with a drug addict?" You: "but Satan, she was HOT and you
don't know how hard it is..." Think about THAT for a few minutes. When I
realized that MY life and my spiritual advancement were in certain turmoil,
guess what... I changed my entire life, and it was PAINFUL. The thing is,
the pain I experienced from making the right decision was nothing in
comparison to how miserable I was drinking, using drugs and obsessing over
girls who didn't truly give a shit about ME to begin with. On this path I
continuously make new friends, but I lose friends constantly as well.
That's just part of life and how bad you want to live it. I meet people all
of the time that seem really intelligent and funny and cool, but once I
discover that they may drink too much, or they do drugs, I very quickly
make it a point to keep them at arms-length and let them weed themselves
out. For some its quicker than others. Some I will elimate immediately if I
view them as detremental to my spiritual well-being. It wasn't easy at
first, but with time, meditation and self-confidence it becomes second
nature. I can spot someone who is trouble from a mile away and I know
exactly how to deal with them. I've also been free from drugs & alcohol for
the better part of a decade now. I do not allow myself to clain
"depression". I refuse to carry the title of an illness when I have ability
to destroy it. The point to this is that you are not unique, you are not
alone, and you have the knowledge, power, and ability to rise above all of
this meaningless crap if you choose. It is only "too hard" if you allow it
to be. I've read through all of these posts, and I have seen so much
incredible advice and opinion, and every single post has value to it, even
if some may seem harsh. Sometimes the truth is extremely harsh, and part of
being a Satanist is being able to SEE truth, KNOW truth, HANDLE truth, and
APPLY truth. So now at this point I'm going to say QUIT SAYING "CAN'T",
delete that girls damn number, and start focusing on truly empowering
yourself. HAIL SATAN!!!
On Mar 11, 2013 11:03 PM, "zir_gohed1" <zir_do@... wrote:

**


To Hail Azazel, in my opinion I must say that you have an impressionist
attitude which makes you susceptible to attacks and negativity. I'm not
suggesting that you shouldn't vent out but this post and a few others you
have posted point to the fact that you are always 'flabberwhelmed' and
'overghasted' by difficulties. Moreso study your astro configuration. It's
only natural that you either get your soul stronger or become extint.
HAIL FATHER SATAN!!

--- In , "hailazazel" <hailazazel@ wrote:

Hey you guys. I wanted to say you're all awesome and I enjoy here very
much but lately my life went really hard. My fucking depression won't leave
me alone. My mind is wandering all the time on this girl i've met.
Something good happens to me, my fucking mind can't stop daydreaming about
it. I'm so fucked up with all these obsessive thoughts I can't take it
anymore. Meditations get me into so much stress. If I don't read every
comment on the group I don't feel well. I have to read it all. FUCK. I'm so
angry so much time i'm trying to heal myself but it's too hard. I will not
commit suicide. Never. But trust me when I say life is so hard right now. I
have to take this break guys. I think even Satan looks at me and guides me
to take this break. It sounds silly I know.

I wanted to say you're all awesome, and don't you judge me, you have no
idea what I'm going through, what my damned fucking soul going through.

I will be back
Click to expand...
That was an amazing example :l
 
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