This was very well meant and well penned. however i would really have not used a song from a xtian rockband for reference as there are 100s of other good ones.
I honestly think ideally that it's best when 2 people meet when they are still very young and impressionable. I think its easiest when they actually either grow up together or meet somewhere around in the very early 20s or teens. Some will disagree with this, and to a point they would be correct as people this young can be fickle and often are. However alot of longterm and lifelong marriages come from 2 people who met when they were very young, without baggage of heartache, debt and children and do not yet look at the opposite sex through jaded lenses as a result of being hurt or rejected in someway. Almost everyone will tell you also the very first time they fell in love felt the absolute strongest. This also has to do with chemical processes in the brain. But what is going on here drives us to form that lasting connection in honor of that rmarkable feeling that has felt like nothing else ever. This is why the second and third and especially times after this do not feel the same, especially after a wound, or several have been made.
This is not to say it is impossible to find love if the first or even second fails but it will take more energy into being able to break out of that callous that has been formed over a wound and form that deep bond, especially if the two people are much older and already set in their ways. young and impressionable people have time to grow together without the woes of life having scarred them much yet at this time, making forming deep meaningful connections much easier and freeflowing.
This makes it easier for them to open up and form strong healthy attachments that last. Close friendships made in childhood also tend to last through adulthood in many cases and most of peoles lives. Which is hardly seen anymore because of the shift in values and culture. Our first love is almost always the strongest, and is thus hurts the most painful if it goes sour. That pain and the callous that forms around it often is carried into other prospective relationships, oftentimes affecting that persons ability to form a proper attachment, which becomes more and more limited each time someone opens up and gets hurt, or just has sex with too many people. It is then taken for granted, and being close with someone in any way just is seen as something not so special and just "whatever nothing lasts forever" and so this is how they approach their relationships and sexual encounters as a result.
The more callous someone has and the more people they've slept with, the shorter their bandwith for forming deep lasting connections will be. For the idiots who want to make double standards and say this goes for only women, it really doesn't. It goes for both sexes in different ways. Many people will have these callouses and simple be too used to seeing oh so many "oppertunities", and if they do attempt monogamy its something they will often get bored with quite fast because of missing these oppertunities of "fun". this will be because its something the got used to after all, because what is better than superficial fun without getting hurt?
It also has me shaking my head when i see guys complain about getting nothing for being the "nice guy" then they think they have to go to the other extreme and be a complete emontionless asshole to get women. Oftentimes men like this have been trying to attract women who are physically out of their league but have shit personalities, or they just dont know the difference between being a "nice guy" and being a whiney person who can't take anything in life and a door mat of which the latter would turn any woman off. Only women with shit personalities will reject the nice guy. I have had one or 2 guys get upset because i rejected them, and they thought it was because they were too nice. But it was infact quite the opposite. I found these men to be among the most selfish i had met and the most vindictive and they were too self absobed to realize that much less take critizism from anyone.
Oftentimes sadly women who are in the highly attractive range however are also very entitled and vain and only know how to get things with their looks. Connections with these people do not last ling and the men who are typically very attractive behave the same, and if they've got the looks they are either players or they are gay. (some people are exceptions and this is sadly very rare) It actually really irks me that these are almost the only types of people who put effort into their appearence to attract a mate. Because lets be honest you can feel a "connection" all you want to someone, but if there is no sexual attraction you might as well be brother and sister or roomies. And this isnt being shallow. its being human, and this is very biological.
This thread was about falling inlove. But i must also add that many people today also do not even know what love is. The phrase "i love you" is thrown around as if it means absolutely nothing anymore. You are right that falling in love is just like freefalling. and if someone who has abuch of cobweb scars in the way that will stop them prematurely is going to need alot of fire and fuel to burn them out...and sadly by that point many people have run out of fuel and are just too tired. It would take massive reprogramming of the mind. But then sadly there are other factors outside the mind beyond our control..and that is how others will behave, or not, towards them, and more often than not, these people are just as damaged as well and not nessessarily on a path to self betterment.
Finding real love is like digging for specimens of high quality precious stone. you can dig and dig deep in the earth, sheading blood and sweat, and find alot of low quality tier specimens of that type of gem and maybe here and there one of medium grade. But it will be akin to the lottery almost to find the one that is of high quality and almost flawless.
