@Betelgeuse

[User47826193]

I really wish I had more interaction and was more important to Satan and the Gods. I always feel left out and ignored most of the time. I've tried to ask for help from them in the past several times for healing myself and advancing myself, but I never seem to get any response or help. I don't understand what the issue is or whats wrong with me.

I’ve asked for help before, not for some BS things like “Satan I demand you make me a kabillionare or else it means you hate me” but things that I don’t even want to talk about here.

I’m the same way with you when it comes to advancement. Dedicated in February 20’ and I meditated pretty good for about 3 months. I was trying to think about when or why I stopped but it was around may. Went on vacation and didn’t have the privacy to have my normal med routine and when I got back I just couldn’t get into it again. I had just finished “opening the soul” and I guess I didn’t know what to do next so I didn’t do anything. That’s just the person I am. I NEED a clear checklist and set of directions/how to do them or else I will just wander aimlessly, or not even wander at all and remain completely stagnant.

I’ve also been thinking about the past in general a lot recently and trying to figure out where I went wrong and became this dropout NEET. Was it my childhood and the environment or my own choices? I don’t know. You can usually look to a natal chart for some clues but I don’t know how to read it. It has been giving me extreme anxiety and insecurity recently.

Back your main point, Satan and the Demons don’t put in the extra work for me, or you, because I don’t do the same for them. I doubt they even know who I am and why should they? I’ve been fucking off for the past 9 months barley doing the bare minimum. I don’t even have a life. I just get up everyday, eat, go walk around for little bit, play ps4 (not because I enjoy It but because it is something to do) repeat this for a few hours, then I lay in bed and try to sleep while tearing myself apart mentally just to wake up and do it all again the next day.

It’s not that I am suicidal or depressed, I just don’t care about my existence anymore. Why would I want to complete the MO and become a God that lives forever? I’ve been a mortal for a mere 18 years and I am already unsatisfied and want this ride to be over, who would want to do this for eternity? I see no point of life if there isn’t an inevitable end and conclusion. Why read a book, or watch a film if it just goes on and on and on, I imagine it would get old eventually unless immortality came with unlimited pleasure.

I know I want to defeat the enemy and spread our ideas but it isn’t good enough for me. I just cannot find something to get enjoyment from. I thought by understanding me it will help you understand yourself since we seem similar enough. The email is open if you don’t want to talk about all of this publicly. That’s about all.

 

[Head Guardian Sophiles Phylax]

...

What is wrong with your teeth? Do they hurt, or are they just not positioned correctly? If a few of the pronunciations get screwed up, it is still ok and this is the best you can do. The energy will still be generated if it is close enough. For runes and other mantras there are always alternative variants or other options that one can pronounce better. For the Ritual, even if you botch the pronunciation of one letter, you still did the others correctly, and so on.

Depending on the condition of your teeth, there are ways you can go about fixing them, with a little brainstorming. Not every solution can be implemented on your own, of course, but some might.

---------------------------------

Its mostly because im lazy and don't get too 'into' my meditations and stuff.

That's ok. You just need to do a working for this. I would do something with Sowilo. Choose the variant that you can pronounce the best. Program it to give you the willpower and compulsion to want to advance yourself spiritually, mentally, and physically, in the best way possible for you.

Furthermore, void meditation is critical and you should be doing this as much as possible. Do this FIRST before you do anything else, as void meditation gives an immediate boost in willpower. Do something like 5 minutes, then rest, then do another 5, and so on. Do as much as possible, perhaps starting 15-20 minutes per day. If you are new to this, simply do smaller chunks.

Void meditation is critical for both your willpower, as well as for your control of mind, whether that is imposter syndrome or whatever. I think the attacks are self-inflicted if they seem to be happening every time you void meditate. If one is not very advanced, I highly doubt you would get attacked this viciously. Not to say you haven't gotten attacked before, but I don't think it happens every single time you try to void.

---------------------------------

As others have explained, it is not so easy to communicate with the Gods. In some cases, they give signs that can go unheeded, for example. They cannot directly communicate with your, based on your astral hearing, therefore they have to rely on signs. They also subconsciously try to guide you. These can go ignored or interpreted incorrectly, or not acted upon, and so forth.

They are very busy and so they cannot invest their full energy into you. It is not that they do not love you, but they have a billion other things that take priority. You are safe and therefore your situation is stable, therefore you can afford to wait until our situation stabilizes.

Don't ever doubt that they don't love you. It is just that immediate communication is not always viable, for all the reasons everyone has mentioned. You may not be conscious of the blessings, signs, or guidance that they have bestowed upon you, so don't think they simply do not exist because you cannot see them. Just do your best to stay strong here.

---------------------------------

There are plenty of problems or obstacles that can prevent someone from advancing. However, these obstacles can be overcome with the correct knowledge, effort, brainstorming, etc. You made a good decision in communicating your plight to us, despite it troubling you, so that you can receive help. Don't think you aren't alone in all of this.

Focus on this: Look into fixing your teeth if possible. Do tons and tons of void. Look into a working that will rev up your desire to advance and take action. Also make sure to continue doing yoga and staying physically well: this of course also influences the mind.

Come back to us with your progress and with any other issues. There is always a solution. You are not alone in facing these things. You are not the first to face physical problems, willpower issues, concentration issues, etc. There is always a solution, you just have to narrow it down and focus on it. Devise a plan of action and implement it. Keep pushing.

 

[Henu the Great]

The only way to truly progress is to keep doing things consistently, every day. Otherwise the progress is very slow, or non existent. One has to have long term goals so that seemingly slow progress when looking on daily scale will not bother.

 

[hailourtruegod]

A humorous but positive video for our brother here,

https://youtube.com/watch?v=tYzMYcUty6s

Emphasis on the people cheering you on.

 

[Head Guardian Sophiles Phylax]

The only way to truly progress is to keep doing things consistently, every day. Otherwise the progress is very slow, or non existent. One has to have long term goals so that seemingly slow progress when looking on daily scale will not bother.

Going off this same point: You just have to craft yourself a rudimentary schedule to follow. The 40 day plan is a basic guide, on can also make a forum post asking for help beyond this.

It is strange to me how many people think the willpower to follow their spiritual routine is something that they are either born with or will never have. Willpower is a skill, not a birth trait. You simply have to up your void then start and continue a working for more willpower.

This extra willpower will allow you to also organize your life in a manner that gains you more wealth and physical health, even without doing a working.

So people say that they don't feel like doing something: Ok, it is not big deal. It just means you have to do more void. You are not doomed or something.

This is not directed at you specifically, I am just sort of ranting.

 

[Ara666]

I really wish I had more interaction and was more important to Satan and the Gods. I always feel left out and ignored most of the time. I've tried to ask for help from them in the past several times for healing myself and advancing myself, but I never seem to get any response or help. I don't understand what the issue is or whats wrong with me.

I’ve asked for help before, not for some BS things like “Satan I demand you make me a kabillionare or else it means you hate me” but things that I don’t even want to talk about here.

I’m the same way with you when it comes to advancement. Dedicated in February 20’ and I meditated pretty good for about 3 months. I was trying to think about when or why I stopped but it was around may. Went on vacation and didn’t have the privacy to have my normal med routine and when I got back I just couldn’t get into it again. I had just finished “opening the soul” and I guess I didn’t know what to do next so I didn’t do anything. That’s just the person I am. I NEED a clear checklist and set of directions/how to do them or else I will just wander aimlessly, or not even wander at all and remain completely stagnant.

Have you ever tried HPZM 40 days meditation program? This should give you a clear set of directions you’re looking for

Here’s the link :

start slowly. You don’t even have to stick to the days exactly as it says. For example, if by days 4-5 you feel like doing the breathing exercise is too much for now; you can start doing it by day 15 or 20… You get the picture. Just advance at your own pace. And find what works best for you.

You can even start experiencing with the meditations that are in the “beginning section.”

https://www.templeofzeus.org/Satanic_Meditation.html

You know what really helps? Vibrating SURYAE into your soul and chakras for cleaning.

Sometimes when I visit relatives and friends, I don’t always have the privacy I need, so I just work around it the best I can. A few weeks ago for example, I had absolutely NO privacy to do my meditations. I only had some time in the evening, so, all I could do was physical yoga. Also, I couldn’t vibrate RAUM or SURYAE because a family member was sleeping in the same room as me. I admit I was a bit lazy to even imagine a golden white light around me just for protection. So, I ended up being sick on the 4th day… I learned from that mistake.

I’ve also been thinking about the past in general a lot recently and trying to figure out where I went wrong and became this dropout NEET. Was it my childhood and the environment or my own choices? I don’t know. You can usually look to a natal chart for some clues but I don’t know how to read it. It has been giving me extreme anxiety and insecurity recently.

Back your main point, Satan and the Demons don’t put in the extra work for me, or you, because I don’t do the same for them. I doubt they even know who I am and why should they? I’ve been fucking off for the past 9 months barley doing the bare minimum. I don’t even have a life. I just get up everyday, eat, go walk around for little bit, play ps4 (not because I enjoy It but because it is something to do) repeat this for a few hours, then I lay in bed and try to sleep while tearing myself apart mentally just to wake up and do it all again the next day.

It’s not that I am suicidal or depressed, I just don’t care about my existence anymore. Why would I want to complete the MO and become a God that lives forever? I’ve been a mortal for a mere 18 years and I am already unsatisfied and want this ride to be over, who would want to do this for eternity? I see no point of life if there isn’t an inevitable end and conclusion. Why read a book, or watch a film if it just goes on and on and on, I imagine it would get old eventually unless immortality came with unlimited pleasure.

I know I want to defeat the enemy and spread our ideas but it isn’t good enough for me. I just cannot find something to get enjoyment from. I thought by understanding me it will help you understand yourself since we seem similar enough. The email is open if you don’t want to talk about all of this publicly. That’s about all.

Let me tell you that you’re a very smart guy. You already know there’s something wrong with this world and it needs to change. You came to our side and started to see the other side of the coin. But it doesn’t mean that you have to give up on your own existence. This world is fucked up because of the enemy. You know it.

You have been given the opportunity to start your life anew. Sure, it hurts. It’s painful sometimes. But when you keep on meditating and cleaning your soul, you will see that things get better. They really do.

Right now you feel this way because you know you haven’t meditated in 9 months. I know I used to feel like shit when I wouldn't meditate even for 1 day. It was horrible. All these negative feelings were coming back to me but when I got back to meditate regularly, I found peace inside myself all over again. Meditating improves your overall well-being for one thing. And you don’t face the same issues those that are without have to face.

I just think it would be a real shame to put this new life behind you and end with all of this. Don’t do this to yourself. Like I said, you’ve been given a chance. You have the power to change this and make things better for yourself.

 

[Henu the Great]

Going off this same point: You just have to craft yourself a rudimentary schedule to follow. The 40 day plan is a basic guide, on can also make a forum post asking for help beyond this.

It is strange to me how many people think the willpower to follow their spiritual routine is something that they are either born with or will never have. Willpower is a skill, not a birth trait. You simply have to up your void then start and continue a working for more willpower.

This extra willpower will allow you to also organize your life in a manner that gains you more wealth and physical health, even without doing a working.

So people say that they don't feel like doing something: Ok, it is not big deal. It just means you have to do more void. You are not doomed or something.

This is not directed at you specifically, I am just sort of ranting.

Your sort of ranting contains valuable info for those who struggle with that issue.

Void is paramount, and I would like to add that runic empowerment is one good avenue to pursue as well.

 

[Head Guardian Sophiles Phylax]

...

How knowledgeable are you? I would get a reading from HC or Lydia but they have enough as it is. I am willing to pay whatever they charge to anyone else that is willing to read it, once I have the cash.

Not knowledgeable enough for a reading, sorry. Most online interpreters will highlight prominent natal aspects, both good and bad. Additionally, look at your North Node house + sign to see stuff that you need to work on. If you google this, there will be blogs explaining what your North Node's qualities mean. This is an easy and generalized way to see what may be holding you back, instead of looking at each planet, each sign, each house, etc.

What’s stopping me is myself. I know I need to this things but I just can’t. My mind is always making excuses or saying, “I will do it later”. I clean my aura after doing the Ritual everyday but I’m usually so tired it’s not thorough at all.

If you are mentally tired, then this is just a willpower thing. If you are more physically tired, then you expended too much energy. You will want to inhale energy to charge yourself back up. Also, daily yoga will improve the body's physical energy.

I hate porn but I watch it because with no partner I don’t have any other sexual release.

Yeah, it is hard. You'll have to do a working for it. Just try to convince yourself to tone it down a little bit. Like only sticking to one video, or to only looking at comics, or only looking at pictures only, etc. Porn is very mental and not a true reflection of your actual need for release. In the moment, ask yourself if you can just watch youtube or lesser entertainment instead and see if you still feel horny in 10 minutes.

I sat in a chair in the sun and closed my eyes for about 5 minutes. Maybe 30 seconds of it was actual void with no other thoughts but it is a start. Also instead of playing on my phone/music like normal I sat on the porch and did a word search with pencil and paper for a little bit.

Sounds like a good start. Don't focus on the results of the void training, like whether you are successful or not. Just focus on consciously trying on holding the void state as much as possible. It is the act of trying that builds the skill.

I wonder what the relation is between music and dopamine is. Everyone talks about screens, drugs, and porn, but music slips under the radar and is probably the most addictive and time confusing for me. I am usually listening for an unhealthy amount of the day when I could be doing things for my advancement. I’m listening right now straight out of my phone speaker. I noticed today I was craving headphones. It really is a problem for me.

Yep, it is an addiction like any other. You also have to evaluate how distracting something can be based on its current state. What I mean is, listening to a CD player only gives you the option of that CD. Listening on Spotify, for example, lets you immediately and instantly switch between tons of songs and any point within them. This makes it much more instantly gratifying to the brain.

That is a lot of my problem. I need somewhere to go and something to do.

It is always harder to self-motivate yourself to do something, even more at home. This is because the only pressure to work is basically coming from yourself, not anything external sources. With this in mind, don't beat yourself up so badly. Just know that you will have to fight daily to change this.

95% of the youth and millennial are stuck in this dopamine trap, but they only need enough willpower to flip burgers or something. Meditating requires full use of the brain, more than other activities, and therefore has higher willpower demands.

You will want to focus on void and consider a working for willpower and compulsion. Here is what I use with 96x Saulo:

The energies of Saulo now and permanently give me the willpower, ability, and compulsion to consistently advance spiritually, mentally, and physically in the best and fastest ways for me, in a healthy and positive manner for me. (x8)

Should I do the 40 days even though I have already opened the chakras? I suppose they have probably closed again at this point.

Yes, you probably should. The 40 days is just an easy start. Do not pile yourself up with 4-5 hours of work, just start easy. Once you are consistently at a higher level of power, you can then sustain a working for even more willpower. However, if your burn yourself out after 5 days of doing every meditation in the book, then you won't want to do anything else.

This is also the case with the new meditation schedule coming up: Just go easy, don't think you are now burdening with hours upon hours of meditation. Consistency is more important.

Lastly, given that your (and nearly everyone's) limit is their willpower, you should design your routine to be very heavy on void meditation. I would do this first in the routine as well, and even like 5-10 minutes right when you wake up so you start the day off well.

The brain acutely changes after void to have an easier time managing its own emotions. In addition, it starts to change permanently as well. It is like a muscle and if you suddenly put your brain under a large influence of void training, then it will respond quickly and start changing its neural structure. It is no different than if you started playing guitar: the more you practice, the better you get. You cannot go wrong with more.

Good luck man!

 

[User47826193]

You will want to focus on void and consider a working for willpower and compulsion. Here is what I use with 96x Saulo:
The energies of Saulo now and permanently give me the willpower, ability, and compulsion to consistently advance spiritually, mentally, and physically in the best and fastest ways for me, in a healthy and positive manner for me. (x8)

How many days is this for? I thought about making a mega-working with runes to help free me from all addictions and past trauma but I will do this as well.

Lastly, given that your (and nearly everyone's) limit is their willpower, you should design your routine to be very heavy on void meditation. I would do this first in the routine as well, and even like 5-10 minutes right when you wake up so you start the day off well.

I’ll have to add this with the 40 day program.

Good luck man!

Thanks.

 

[Head Guardian Sophiles Phylax]

How many days is this for? I thought about making a mega-working with runes to help free me from all addictions and past trauma but I will do this as well.

Well, with all workings you have to do 40 days minimum to permanently influence the soul. From there, you have to judge the effects and whether they are at the level that you would like. Obviously you can redo the working at a later date, but this may not always be convenient if you want to start on a good astrological date.

The Saulo working that I mentioned is pretty broad, encompassing all aspects of a person, however it is aiming to achieve something great: where the person would have like a mini fire in them urging them on always. I personally plan to carry it to at least 80 days, given the usefulness of it. My primary limit is my productivity, therefore it makes sense to go hard on this working.

Between the Saulo working and a working for past trauma/addictions, you have to weigh what is most important. You can do both, but it may take you some time. The Saulo with 96 reps takes me about 30 minutes or so.

If the working you are planning is for all addictions and past trauma, this is is pretty broad and you want to make sure you can back it up with the necessary amount of energy. It may make sense to first target any active addictions, then later you can target past trauma separately. You have to make a judgement call on what is the priority.

 

[Thousahll]

I think your problem lies on lack of resolve. What do you see yourself 5 years from now? 10 years? The Gods are going to return here on Earth, if I am you, I should always do the best version of myself. Sorry but in my own opinion, you shackled your own self....you limit yourself.... You need to become more mature. Always remember that we all started in point zero of our lives in this path. Some of the members here took even a lot of years just to get a simple communication with the Gods. If you don't help yourself, then who will? Father and the Gods are guiding us if we stay true to our path and that is towards Godhood. I am sure they are giving you signs.

Also, they believe in you. Life is always giving us a lesson. I am sure you are learning some things from your problem. You must overcome yourself. Master yourself. Control your emotions, don't let your emotions control you.

Always do void meditation, empty your thoughts. And also Hatha yoga with controlled breathing. Do SATANAMA and Alternate Nostril Breathing Exercise. Always clean yourself and your chakras. And always spin your chakras.

This may be blunt but in some cases please don't make excuses. I myself haven't interacted with Father and my Guardian in such a way that I can successfully converse with them but honestly its okay for me. Better even. Because for me it only means that I haven't reached the threshold yet. Not enough. I am too far on reaching that level yet. But I am happy because there's so so much room for improvement.

Enjoy the moment of being here and now. Look at the Sun, that's our will! The undying will of being a Spiritual Satanist!

In closing, please read this message of Lady Haures as stated by Her disciple:

There is a many great things coming,
that you must prepare for.
It goes beyond discipline and focus,
it becomes a necessity everyday
as breathing is, if not more so
Your mindset and attitude,
behavior and actions,
either make you a winner, a survivor
or you will fall with the old world
that you, and others
must clean up in preparation for the
New World that is on your doorstep.
There is no more time for waiting
to get your shit together,
You must see the urgency and move
with the tides.
We have reached the end of our rope with you,
You must change your ways
or fall into ashes with the enemy
And face your Maker when you die;
Or would you rather live, honorably and honestly
Drinking with the gods
And dining among friends?
Would you rather be rotten and weeded out
or take your rightful place as a Satanist?
We have much work for you to do,
there is no time to lose.
We would hate to see you go, don't throw your potential away
It's time to prove your love and loyalty to Satan and the Gods of Elysium
in action.

 

[User47826193]

Well, with all workings you have to do 40 days minimum to permanently influence the soul. From there, you have to judge the effects and whether they are at the level that you would like. Obviously you can redo the working at a later date, but this may not always be convenient if you want to start on a good astrological date.

The Saulo working that I mentioned is pretty broad, encompassing all aspects of a person, however it is aiming to achieve something great: where the person would have like a mini fire in them urging them on always. I personally plan to carry it to at least 80 days, given the usefulness of it. My primary limit is my productivity, therefore it makes sense to go hard on this working.

Between the Saulo working and a working for past trauma/addictions, you have to weigh what is most important. You can do both, but it may take you some time. The Saulo with 96 reps takes me about 30 minutes or so.

If the working you are planning is for all addictions and past trauma, this is is pretty broad and you want to make sure you can back it up with the necessary amount of energy. It may make sense to first target any active addictions, then later you can target past trauma separately. You have to make a judgement call on what is the priority.

I’ll have to start this soon preferably when the astrological time is right.

 

[Henu the Great]

I’ll have to start this soon preferably when the astrological time is right.

Waxing Moon Leo next week is ok. Waxing Sagittarius is better, but for that you'd have to wait for to end of May...

 

[Jack]

I really appreciate how Blitzkrieg is answering all these questions. Friend, you should make a document and copy/paste these. As you see the problems faced by people are repetitive and generally fall into the same categories.

 

[Henu the Great]

I really appreciate how Blitzkrieg is answering all these questions. Friend, you should make a document and copy/paste these. As you see the problems faced by people are repetitive and generally fall into the same categories.

To be honest I think he already does that.

 

[User47826193]

Waxing Moon Leo next week is ok. Waxing Sagittarius is better, but for that you'd have to wait for to end of May...

So I can start it at any time on the 25th just not VoC.

 

[Head Guardian Sophiles Phylax]

I really appreciate how Blitzkrieg is answering all these questions. Friend, you should make a document and copy/paste these. As you see the problems faced by people are repetitive and generally fall into the same categories.

To be honest I think he already does that.

I have the "document" in my brain and I usually just rattle off as much as I can recall. I should organize it in writing, however, to make sure I get the wording down perfect and make sure I don't miss important aspects of each point.

 

[Henu the Great]

Waxing Moon Leo next week is ok. Waxing Sagittarius is better, but for that you'd have to wait for to end of May...

So I can start it at any time on the 25th just not VoC.

Hour of Sun is best, and preferably when the Sun is waxing - that is until about 2-3pm. Depends where you live.

 

[Anonymous]

I really appreciate how Blitzkrieg is answering all these questions. Friend, you should make a document and copy/paste these. As you see the problems faced by people are repetitive and generally fall into the same categories.

This is very true. I've been reading this and I can relate to this issue. As such, I took everyone's advice. And thank everyone for sharing their experiences and knowledge.

Can't add much more to this, but I'd like to say, as someone have who been through the same and was pretty close of losing all hope. I hope you guys are back on track. Never give up. Fight for your life. Tame your own self. Know where to put limits and know where to break limits. Look deep inside with honesty and be humble with your own self and have an open mind to whatever you find inside you. Have more goals and less expectations. Specially if they are unreal. I strongly advise pushing yourself into Astrology. Believe me, I've been where you are or worse who knows. And what changed for me was getting to know my real self. Astrology helped tremendously. I know what you're thinking, Astrology it's such a hard work to learn that so complex. It's not that hard. I mean, its extremely complex. But you can figure out the basics pretty easily such as planets, houses, signs, aspects, and they can sometimes tell a lot of information about yourself and certain areas you need to tackle, and then work your way from there. Don't jump into conclusions though, make sure you get a proper interpretation. With the aspects, degrees, signs, configurations, whatever. Just start reading the page on the JoS. Whatever you can't understand just Google it. There's nothing wrong in that. When you figure out the basic concepts get back to JoS and use it to figure out the chart. It is THAT easy. However depending on how complex your chart and configurations are, it may take longer or not to read it through. I'll leave this video here that'll show you the basics it helped me a lot to then come to Azazels Astrology and use it and understand it. Your mind is making it to be harder then it actually is in reality (don't take me wrong it's still very hard to do a complete reading) https://youtu.be/-4vNK05bEjo

Really, I am forever going to advertise Astrology, as it changed my entire life in just a few days. I've got answers to most of the hardest questions. It also shows you certain areas you need to empower in order to create balance with the negative influences. If you are skeptical as I was, just reach through the chart. It won't lie. It won't make up anything. It will show you things you already know are fucked up. It will also show you where you are strong. And these things, I'm assuming you already know them deep inside you. Otherwise you wouldn't be here. My point is you'll know it's all true when you start interpreting the chart and start getting answers to the hardest questions you ever made to your own self. Push yourself. Once you shift the mindset in the brain it all starts falling into place. Make a plan, a simple yet effective one. You've got all the tools. You're not a newbie so you know which meditations do what. Get into that and make your own program. As other suggested and even got you some examples of where to start.
By looking at your chart, you will KNOW that you are not weak, certainly have bad placements such as we all do that will emphasize weaker areas. But don't dwell much on that. Focus on what's good. And focus on empowering that good that you see in the chart. Most of this work has to be mental and psychological effort and war with your own self. And its something you can never escape from. You have to face the real you. The sooner you get out of your comfort zone and do this, easier it is. As much as you'd like life to be easier it won't get that way. I do understand the feeling really. Everything seems to be such a huge problem in the way of things. I know. And I lived this life for years. Embrace it. Life is fucked up (the way the world is at the moment, anyway) . You might have certain planetary placements that fuck you up even further. But you're here. So believe in yourself. And see for yourself. Look at the chart and know where your strengths are. Focus on them and never give up.

That's just my piece of advice. Hope you are doing better by now. Both of you