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I think something's going on here. It looks like I might be getting nearer the point where the anger in me is finally almost washed out. Here are some recurring symptoms that have surfaced as of late: -Anger and frustration seems to be spiking at points, but I also have more awareness of...

Did anyone see the one responsible for the pushed over crucifix? I can't use my third eye at the moment, and I'd love to know which god it was that showed him his lesson. All in all, that was awesome. Made my night. Lovely. HAIL ANDRAS! HAIL ASTAROTH! HAIL BAAL! HAIL THE ALMIGHTY...

Today I want to tell you a story. It's been ages since I was first put on medication for psychiatric problems. Well, up until just about two months ago, I had no knowledge or even awareness that these medicines were in fact destroying me. However, recently, I became aware of something...

That's not the primary issue of why I want to get a hold of him - after that last screw up, I can't tell whether he locked me out or not. That's why I want to talk to Father, or at least one of the Gods that can help me clear up this confusion. At the very least, if Satan HAS left me, the...

It's not that I'm not loyal to him - my mind was weak, and I lost my grip on what I saw as truth and fiction. Unable to figure out what was right, I lost myself. That was when the enemy leapt and took over - but sadly, I could not just sit and let my life be dictated - regulations over my sex...

Lately, something feels wrong with me. When I fall asleep, I tend to usually go without dreaming. However, for some reason, my body fears sleep, as it does death. Especially painful death. But just a few minutes ago, as I was trying to let off some steam through masturbation, I felt my...

Tonight, I asked Gusion two serious questions: Did I truly make the dedication with my whole heart loyal to Father, and was he my Guardian Demon. As I am writing this now, I still retain (within my eyes) a vision of a brilliant set of three white dragon heads. These heads are oriental in nature...

I'm not sure of anything specific regarding this matter, but I felt I should probably bring it up. Last Thursday, I went to see my doctor. I wanted to put the idea of Candida on the table (as someone had suggested that it might be the case). Prior to that, I went and researched as much as I...

Last night, I did a ritual to father, asking him to assist me in banishing the angel(s) that I spoke of in my last summoning recollection. This time, however, I came more prepared than last time. I did the following before the ritual: -Candle and Match Prep -Preparing all black clothes...

Allison, thanks. I can't say I can concentrate on void meditation alone, but I did think I found a way to push this angel off. I mentioned earlier my mind's eye has a rapid image generation. Well, I've found that by using what I visualize and tempering it, I can create images that mentally...

Why.... why must the Nazarene continue to torture us? This kid wanted nothing but a happy life - and she had it taken from her by parents who just wanted the free ticket to fame (that, and an angel who did nothing but simply stick a spear in her ass and destroy her). Makes me sad that shit...

Thing is, if they make people dumber, then they won't be able to intelligently process the Bible to see those lies. Down with Scott Walker, IMHO, because he's all for hiring stupid teachers to teach kids to be stupid! And children are among one of Satan's most cherised treasures!

Thing is, these are not consistant, everyday things. They happen often, but not on an everyday, same time always basis. As for past life, not sure. But it does sound like I'm being gunned for, and I would like to know what gives these assholes the right to screw with me (not referring to you...

Blurred vision = No. Slurred speech = Depends. When I was typing that plea for help, I kept stumbling on the words, and trying to spontaneously correct them. Severe brain fog = Gonna have to say yes. I still cannot control the visualizations 100%, but it's getting near 40%. A Feeling of...

My regular routine has been thrown into shambles. I'm pretty much unsure of myself anymore, but I have not given up believing in Father... yet. But I'm losing. I tried to meditate last night, but I couldn't even conjure the ladder anymore. I start to see it, but then it vanishes, and then...

This is getting outright ridiculous. She's not only done this two days in the same week, but they're a day apart. I can even sense where this enemy is hitting me. Two ribs down from my collar bone, a powerful, despair-like sensation hits me, as if something's being ripped out. She's going...