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Have you been traumatized before? Asexuality can be a reaction to abusive behavior from others even if it was just emotional abuse. I struggled with it before, I lost all sexual desire for a long time outside of masterbation as I didn't trust anyone enough to want to be intimate with them. It...

That is so sweet and beautiful, I almost cried from your poem. You can tell you love him very deeply.

I found only a few sentences useful. I'm paraphrasing but when he stated a spirit lover stays with you even while you age or through any misfortunes you experience, that made me feel very warm. You could not expect that depth of love in typical human relationships.

The only book that I found is "Sexual Alchemy" by Donald Tyson. It does have some interesting parts but the rituals he describes to connect with your Spirit Lover are quite simply, retarded and disgusting. (He talks about drying semen, period blood, and urine. And using it in rituals...) Most...