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All my life I have feared death especially as a pathetic lost xian for I feared "oh if I die I will suffer in hell."But of course through study I have learned that was a load of bullshit, but I have noticed ever since my leaving of the xian lies that my fear of death is decreasing fast.  I know...

I may just be being dramatic here or just depressed but why does Father want me I am nobody but a kid trying to find himself on Earth living a meaningless existence.  I feel that I am not wanted anywhere.somebody help me please Hail Father