Being a musician myself, I'am curious to what type of music inspires you all? I tend to listen to WW2 regime/RAC, and Black Metal. I do enjoy classical at times. Hail Satan.
Sounds like people around you have influenced you in a negative way. You may have bought into their opinions of you thereby giving them power over you. Seek the true nature of yourself. Who are you? Not who others say you are. Meditation is excellent for this. Take a step toward Father Satan...