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Hi! Just would love to say that I love father Satan but can feel blocks in my pursuit to become closer to him due to Christian programing. I sometimes get scared and frustrated that Satan will leave me when having doubts about Satan and it makes me feel extremely guilty I love him at my core but...

Hey i was wondering if anyone could give me some advice I can't seem to visualise the light. And also can someone reaffirm that the dedication ritual is permanent because sometimes I feel doubts and the pleasent sensation s that father gives me goes away when I stupidly doubt the gods. Please...