Hello Sonia,
You know I come from a very similar situation, except my partner I let in is spiritually inept. She is very good at blocking energy and siphioning/channeling it to herself. An energy vampire, if you will, that has no cognitive idea the reality of what she's is doing. I think you...
All life is sacred. Spiders creep me the ef out, but I capture and release. I think it's a bad omen to kill anything without a purpose. I find to capture and release a spider brings good luck. You're rather intriguing. Do you mind if I ask how old you are?